Reality
by cinithea
Summary: Progeny tag. What did Rodney think was happening when they were being mind probed? Just a short piece where Rodney explains a bit.


_A/N Progeny tag. I couldn't help wondering what exactly played out in Rodney's mind when the Replicators probed their minds. Remember, Rodney said it was torture, too hideous and intimate to recount? Well, since I love to torture Rodney, I had to fill in the blanks. I'm so bad. _

Rodney closed his laptop and crossed his arms. He looked around the lab, glad to be home. They were all physically fine, having managed to avert this last disaster. Replicators in the Pegasus galaxy! God, were the Ancients stupid? Couldn't they have come up with something better with which to fight the Wraith?

He and Radek had spent hours looking for something in the database to explain the Replicators and had concluded that the Ancients had deleted almost all the information. He rubbed his head. He still had a lingering headache from the mind probe. Oh, no, I will not think about that. He strode purposely down the hall, until he realized that it was the middle of the night. There weren't that many places he could go, and he needed a shower. Damn.

He had been almost grateful to wake up in a cage. Sheppard would never have let him go with his vague description otherwise. He'd have made him tell all. And that would be bad. Even knowing it was not real didn't keep him from shuddering.

He was tired. He needed to sleep, but he dreaded that time in between crawling into bed and actually falling asleep. He was afraid that he'd think too much about the scenario they'd played in his mind. He choked back a harsh laugh. Played. No, it wasn't play, it was horror. Maybe he'd better find something to eat.

He made sure the lights were on full in his room. He showered, feeling shaky and vaguely sick. He toweled off, and nearly fell backwards when he went back to his room.

"Don't you knock?" Rodney consciously slowed his breathing.

"Uh, no? Geez, Rodney, don't have an aneurysm. I just wanted to see how you were. You know, after the..." He waved his hand around his head. Damn. Sheppard had that look. The one that means Rodney is going to start telling him things he doesn't want to.

"Fine. I'm fine. Tired, and I have a terrible headache. Do you think mind probe thing causes brain damage? The scans didn't show anything and the SGC hasn't found evidence that it does, but these Replicators might be different than the ones in the Milky Way. My brain is valuable, you know. And do you mind? I don't particularly care to dress with an audience." Maybe that would distract him.

"So what was the whole hideous torture thing?"

"What? Why would you ask me that? Did you not hear me tell Ronon I didn't want to talk about it?" Angrily, he backed into the bathroom and dragged on his pants. "Did you go banging on Ronon or Teyla's or Elizabeth's doors in the middle of the night to ask them what terrible scene from _their_ nightmares they got to live out?" He stalked out, jerking on his shirt. "Do you want to describe in vivid detail what happened in your mind?"

"Well, no." John folded his arms across his chest. "But they aren't as weirded out as you. And besides, they'd just pull that Pegasus native 'suffering is part of life' stoicism. And I already kind of told mine. So now it's your turn."

Rodney blinked at him. "I'll tell you a secret if you tell me one? Are you twelve?"

"Rodney, " Sheppard growled at him. "It's obviously bothering you, so just tell me. I don't want you freaking out about it later."

"So what, since I'm the Achilles' heal of Atlantis, you assume I can't handle this?" Uh, oh. He was breathing heavily and he could feel his face flush. "I'm the one who will break? The easiest one to hurt?" OK, he needed to shut up now.

"Rodney! Calm down! I was joking about the aneurysm." John widened his eyes. "You weren't kidding about the torture, were you?"

"No, but that's besides the point. I'm not going to fall to pieces. OK, so last time Koyla tortured me, I broke, but that doesn't mean I will every time! I know physically I'm not like the rest of the team, but that's not all that important when we mostly deal with alien technology. I am a valuable member of the expedition and am just as needed as everyone else." Rodney felt close to hysterical tears.

"God, Rodney! Stop! I know that. What the hell did they do?" John softened his voice. "Talk to me here, buddy."

His shoulders slumped in defeat. He never could hold out when John made that face. But he'd never be able to make John understand how helpless and weak and alone he'd felt. And he knew he wouldn't leave Rodney alone until he said something, so..."Fine."

"OK." Rodney wanted to laugh at the chagrined face of his team leader. Now that he'd agreed to spill his guts, John wasn't sure he wanted to hear it.

"I guess since they got all they wanted about Atlantis from you," John winced, "they wanted to know about other things. Maybe friends and foes? In my scenario, we escaped, but we went to the Alpha Site. We couldn't establish a wormhole with Atlantis. So, we got through the gate and the Genni were there. Koyla was there. Some of the Athosians were, too, but they'd all been killed."

"He captured us, and we made an escape attempt but..." He really didn't want to tell this part.

"But...?"

"I couldn't keep up and you left me there. Koyla was... He, ah, well, that's the torture part."

"What did he do?" John looked ready to gear up and go after someone.

"You do realize it never happened? You can't defend my honor?"

"Yeah." John kinda wiggled his head and grimaced the way he did when he felt stupid. "As long as you know it, too. Just tell me the rest of it."

"Fine, OK," he waved his hand. "He had his men torture me, telling me that I was weak and a liability, and it was no wonder you all left me. He wanted to know about the Daedalus, what defenses we have here in Pegasus. He let his men...OK, won't elaborate on that. But I was nearly dead when the scenario ended."

He could almost see John imagining it all. He started as John reached out a hand and touched Rodney's shoulder. "I wouldn't have left you. You know that, right?"

"I guess. Yes, yes. You'd make sure I was here to fix the city and save you all from total annihilation."

"Geez, Rodney, we don't just want you for your brain! No, I wouldn't leave you because you're my friend. You're Ronon's friend and Teyla's friend. And we would not leave you. And Ronon would probably shoot you himself before he let...that...kind of thing happen to you."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or terrified. I wouldn't want Ronon to wonder if he has to kill me every time we're held against our will."

"You know what I mean. None of us would leave you. Especially with Koyla."

"I know. But you know how real those things feel." He shook himself. "Anyways, I think I feel better. Huh. I really do. It's amazing, really. Maybe all that psychological 'tell me how that made you feel' stuff does have some value."

"You're still not going to sleep though." John looked pointedly at the shoes Rodney had bent to put on. "Why don't we see if there's anything left in the mess? Then I'll beat you at a game of chess."

"Oh, as if that's likely. The way you play, I can't believe you were able to read the instructions, much less pass the Mensa test. You know, you still haven't told me what your IQ is. I know it's not as high as mine, but maybe it's close to Zelenka's." Rodney was off an running. John smirked a bit, made a comment or two, and let him go. It was the best way he knew to get the man to relax.


End file.
